A Woman's Prayer

[hlndr]

A Woman's Prayer


Dear Lord,
I pray for:
Wisdom,..To understand a man,
Love,... To forgive him,
and
Patience,...For his moods.
Because, Lord?
If I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

[Vernon Gaunt]

"What a strange thing is man! and what a stranger Is woman! What a whirlwind is her head, And what a whirlpool full of depth and danger Is all the rest about her." Lord Byron

[scooby]

"What a strange thing is man! and what a stranger Is woman! What a whirlwind is her head, And what a whirlpool full of depth and danger Is all the rest about her." Lord Byron

Hmmmmmmmm I thought that was Rex Harrison in "My Fair Lady" ;)

[TinaMarie]

>> WOMAN'S POEM.......
>> >>
>> >> Before I lay me down to sleep,
>> >> I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
>> >> One who's handsome, smart and strong.
>> >> One who loves to listen long,
>> >> One who thinks before he speaks,
>> >> One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
>> >> I pray he's gainfully employed,
>> >> When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
>> >> Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
>> >> Massages my back and begs to do more
>> >> Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
>> >> Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
>> >> I pray that this man will love me to no end,
>> >> And always be my very best friend.
>> >> .
>> >>
>> >> .
>> >>
>> >> MAN'S POEM...........
>> >>
>> >> I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge
>> boobs
>> >> who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
>> >> doesn't rhyme and I don't give a CRAP.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>

[scooby]

Amen to the the womans prayer - the author of the mans prayer must have been my EX husband

[fgh2157]

The Power of a Woman
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (Thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,? says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

[fgh2157]

Thought this one was qutie good

The Power of a Woman
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (Thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,? says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

[Sharon D.H.]

Here's one for ya'll:

[I]A case of mistaken identity.
An elderly woman comes out of the grocery store looking for her car and when she finds it, she sees three young men trying to get in it. So she runs up to them and attackes them with her purse, which has all but the kitchen sink in it. Each one is hit in the head or there abouts. One man yells, "You're crazy." They run off. Well, this elderly woman pulls her keys out of her pocket, tries to insert the key into the lock. It doesn't work.
Well, what to do now; She looks around, hhmmmm. With a quick intake of breath, she sees another car just like her own; so she goes over to that one and inserts the key in that lock. It works.
She drives to the police station and walks in to make her report that some young men tried to steal her car.
The police office says, "Ma'am. These three gentlemen here claim it was you who attacked them first, trying to steal their car.
The elderly woman puts her hand to her chest and gasps, "Oh!"
Everyone begins to laugh at the irony.